i've been slacking on these! life has been busy between work, preparing for fall, and other things like spending time with friends, but i'm still here! update on my last post first real quick: i got new medication! a couple of them, actually, since explaining to my new psychiatrist that the ones i was on hadn't been working well. the biggest shift is that i'm finally on antipsychotics, after trying to get them from my old psychiatrist for a while (on request of my therapist) and being refused them. they're still relatively new, but i'm not feeling any particularly adverse side effects from them, so that's a good sign ^_^.
i got to go see ghost live in miami this past weekend (july 13, 2025)! i'm unsure if it was entirely intentional, but they had a segment of the show where during one of their songs they used "bisexual lighting", which is to say their colors cycled through blue, purple, and pink in the same shades as the flag. this meant a lot to me as someone bisexual, living in a tumultuous time in america whilst they scrub bisexuality recognition from government. i would be lying if it didn't make me tear up just a little bit...
i've also been puzzling out my itabag after a long time of considering one! it's a self-indulgent little project for myself, which is always something to have fun with! if you see this, ask me which character it's for :^).
first post and also therapy today! i've been meaning to write something for the last few days, i just haven't gotten around to it thanks to my chronic disability causing me to feel particularly fatigued. but today's my first day off in a while, so i'm capitalizing on that.
i've been on the hunt for a new psychiatrist recently, because my current one kind-of sucks; she shuts down everything i say, which can easily be attributed to me seeking specific misconceptualized treatment if it weren't for the fact that she's late. all the time. rushes me through our meetings after having me wait a good 15-30 minutes, shuts down every concern i tell her, etc. etc. i've decided recently to get my adhd formally diagnosed, after years of having it medically recognized by my primary care but refusing it being written down, but i need a psychiatrist's help for medication and an iep. so yeah...
setting up appointments is a nightmare for me, though. not that it's hard to do or anything, i just hate going through the process of calling over the phone. i rely very heavily on bodily language, so i just bumble around like an idiot in my speech without it. online classes are shit for similar reasons, i learn the best when i am able to have a banter with my professor, but at least in those cases i can teach myself the materials...
honestly, this page is likely going to be kind-of ugly until i get around to implementing a directory and/or collapsible headings, neither of which am i particularly keen on doing...but, that little project is for another day's me. until then: use ctrl+f :^). also, please leave suggestions for how i could do this blog section better on my atabook. this is my first time trying something like this, so it's gonna look pretty shittily formatted until i get into a groove.
